Lately, I’ve felt like an archeologist digging into the muddy, obscure past. Several months of unpleasant symptoms were compromising my physical body, and I wanted to know why?
I discovered that I was living in a fear program that was making me sick! It kicked in at 3 years old when my brother was born and I instinctively adapted my behavior to be ‘useful’ since I was no longer the firstborn or a male. This is the raw, first chakra, pressure to survive. Who knew?
My brain created a subconscious scenario to ensure my survival. I absolutely had to do certain things, or I would not. Those behaviors grew up with me, including how I looked, what I taught, how I spoke, what I wore, ate, whom I agreed (or disagreed) with, and what I posted on social media. Sound familiar?
A lifetime of pressure can have many negative side effects; sleeplessness, high blood pressure, headaches, poor digestion, depression, and more. Realizing we are the ones driving our own fear machines is a big ah-ha moment. Recognizing behaviors gives us the power to change – let the pressure valve be released!
The words “no pressure,” and “go with the flow” have taken on new meanings. As a fear addict in recovery, it’s truly one day at a time. It takes focused awareness to recognize and shift ingrained beliefs and patterns, and I want this new path while my health is… well, healthy.
It also takes courage to dig into the shadows, but perhaps letting go of fear-based programs is our Brave New World? My intention is to discover magical ways of releasing performance pressures and honoring myself. May we all celebrate spirit’s benevolent plan – a path that is healing, delightful, gentle, replenishing, and joyful.